Are you looking at your bank account, and suddenly want to reignite your relationship with your rich elderly family member? Or you haven’t got one? Buy $WHENFAM, and get in touch with them here!

1 $WHENFAM = 1 Rich Elderly Family Member

Demi got in touch with her Aunt Berta earlier this year, and they couldn’t be happier!

Aunt Berta: I recently received news that I have cancer, and my sisters’ daughter has been by my side ever since. We never really had any contact before that, but her sincere concern warmed my heart. I am so happy to learn I have such a loving family.

Demi: Not gonna lie; I always hated the bitch. She was a cunt ever since I was a kid, but since I learned of her illness I felt like this was the perfect moment to get in touch. A lot of family members have suddenly gotten in touch, but I let Aunt Berta know they are just after her money, and she would be wise to leave her estate with me! Little does she know I’m a full blown degen... Can’t wait to flaunt her cash to my sisters!

Get in touch with these Rich Old Family Members!

David Goldenberger:

Hello young one! I’m looking for a young person to give my estate to. My teeth might give the impression I don’t have much to offer, but I decided against going to the dentist, and putting my money in buying cheap Nazi gold. This gave me a great return, and I want to share this wealth with the new generation. I hear some of you are in the trenches? I have some stories to tell you…

Fanny Goldstein:

Hello lovely young person. The last couple of years have been very lonely for me; especially since my husband died. I don’t feel like I have many years to live, and I want to give my money to someone caring after I leave this earth. Looking for a young, well-hung chap who can work my front garden while I’m taking my afternoon nap…

D. Portnoy:

Hey cutie. All these pizzas got me looking like this. I know: it ain’t great… but I do have a shit ton of cash I’m looking to leave behind. Would love to get in touch with insecure young women; no older than 25. Preferably ones with an overdeveloped body, and an underdeveloped mind. Why? I can only talk about sports and pizza, and for some reason these women always end up in one of my playboy mansions. Looking to be a daddy once more.

Granny Wagpuss:

Youngsters beware; this granny is footloose! Would love to have a real trencher to take me out, buy me drinks and clean my colostomy bag. I will call you my ‘playcousin’. Lots of family want a piece of granny, but I’m looking for that lost chad in the family who can take care of me. Wanna be in my will? Hold and shill my puss!